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UH [08 Nov 2003|11:54pm]
When was the last time I did this thing?

Who gives a fuck?

Not I, said the fly.

Hahahahaha, I'n kinda smashed.

Thats a lie, I'm rEALLY smasheed.

I fucked last weekend. Unprotected.

Word of advice never do it without a rubber.


My life is a mess.
Light it up

I'm back [20 Sep 2003|07:37pm]
I was i the woods in Georgia for 5 weeks cause my parents found out I weas smoking crack.

I'm not allowed to see Melanie.

I'm grounded til october 8th.

I'm going to my homecoming with Bill next saturday.

Thats all
Light it up

Complete and utter sweetness [14 Jul 2003|12:23pm]
[ mood | cold ]

The Eminem concert was the fucking shit. There are no words to decribe how motherfucking amazing it was. Yeah, I know it was saturday, but, I'm lazy and didn't wanna go on the computer yesterday.

Anyways, holy shit, I think I woulda killed myself if my parents had made me stay home and miss it. Thats a fucking once in a lifetime experience! None of you fuckers will ever get to see the master in the flesh, but I did.

And Melanie was sooooo trashed, she went around and got every single hot guy's name and number. Her whole fucking arm was covered. And the hottest guy of them all, Chad, he liked ME. Melanie was talking to him, and me and Katie came up and he grabbed my ass and was like "You're the cutest girl in the whole building. Whats your name?". And I was like, "Alison"...
"Alison? Thats the most beautiful name in the world. Are you over 18 Alison?"
"Yes"(A little white lie won't hurt anyone, you know?)
"I love your ass, you've got a great ass. I love how it feels. You can grab mine, if you want"
So, I did. What an ass man! Very very nice. And, god damn, he was so fucking hot, he had fucking hot friends too. Probably three of the hottest guys I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, I know, I have a boyfriend, and Chad was probably drunk off his ass and doesn't rememeber MY ass, plus he's probably like, 25 or something. But, oh well.

It's funny though, cause I don't think I HAVE an ass. I kinda just go straight down. It sucks. But, whatever.

He asked to see my thong to, but I didn't show it to him, cause I know what that would result in.... getting fingered in the middle of the hallway. Which wouldn't be so bad, except for I have a boyfriend. And, there were hundreds of people walking around us.
Plus, I was wearing my superman thong, the only time someone's eyes will get to see that is if they are Joe's eyes and if the song 'Superman' is playing.

People were passing joints around in the audience. I got a few hits. It was sweet.

Then on the way out we almost got into a fight with these fucking trailer trash piece of shit sluts who were talk shit about US! For no fucking reason. They were walking behind us, saying shit about OUR clothes, when they were the ones who needed an outfit change. Dumb fucking bitches. They're lucky we didn't go, cause I woulda took that fat ass slut who was all up in my face TO THE GROUND. And Melanie can fight 10 times better than me, so that little toothpick whore up in her shit would gotten broke in half. It woulda been funny though, I kinda wish it had happened.

Its so fucking cold in my house right now, Jesus Christ. Who the fuck turned up the motherfucking central air! God damn it, it's like 50 degrees in here!

Light it up

Eww [11 Jul 2003|10:49am]
Well, the way it's going down right now is pretty shitty.

Everything sucks.

I got a letter from Joe yesterday, saying all this bullshit. "I don't like the way my life is going", "I'm gonna move away when I get out", blah blah blah. I was like, what the fuck? I care about Joe so much, but I'm not about to wait around for him all summer, just so he can bolt when he gets out. Thats gay. I don't want to break it off with him, but if thats what he's seriously gonna do, then fuck that shit.

Bill's being all weird. I hadn't talked to him in forever, so I called him last night, and he was an asshole. He was all like 'I'm watching a movie right now, so bye'. I was like 'OK, fucker. Bye Bye". Goddamnit! I don't know whats wrong with everyone.

And to top it off, I'm not allowed to go to the Eminem concert tomorrow, which I have been looking foreward to since January. My parents just don't understand how much this concert means to me. I mean, I fucking LOVE Eminem, I love him. I waited in line and got these tickets the day they went on sale. Now, I have to sell them to some fucker who didn't have the passion to wait in line. It's not fucking fair.
Light it up

Anyways... [07 Jul 2003|06:08pm]
[ mood | productive ]

Well, I'm in the process of trying to figure out a way to convince my mom to let me go out tomorrow. I have to think of a really good reason before asking her.

It's really important that I go out tomorrow. I have to help Melanie out with some of her shit, and I have to take care of some of my own shit.

Eww, we have to get a ride from this creepy ass fucker named Kyle Marble. He wants to get with me so bad, its really scary. He is obsessed with me. Its disgusting. But, he has a car and as long as I act like he has a chance, we have a ride. Plus, its fun to fuck around with his mind.

I was thinking about telling him that I think mullets are sexy, just so he'd grow one, and then I'd tell him I hate mullets and that I'd never do anything with someone who had one. It'd be pretty fucking funny.

I mean, usually, I feel bad when we fuck around with people, but I hate Kyle so fucking much. Out of everyone I've ever known in my entire life, I hate him to most. I hate him more than anyone or anything in this entire universe.

I would like to kill him, but, I'd get in a lot of trouble. Especially now that I'm on probation. Maybe I'll just wait 4 months to do the human race this huge favor.

Haha, no, I couldn't ever KILL anyone.

I'd hire someone to do it.

3Puffs| Light it up

Mmmm, getting off easy rules. [06 Jul 2003|10:14pm]
So, I had court on thursday. Then I was on vacation, so I had to wait to post the details.

1) 4 months probation
2) 30 hours community service
3) Pay restitution, but that one is pending

I LOVE the 4 months probation! 4 months! Hahahahahaha, who even ever heard of 4 months or probation? I haven't. I thought for aure it would be 6. God, was I happy.

The only down side is the random drug tests. That sucks.
Light it up

I'm to sexy for my shirt..... [02 Jul 2003|05:04pm]
Dropped 5 more pounds, yay!

Really, though, I'm not to sure if it's THAT great of a thing. I mean, I'm already REALLY skinny, I mean, compared to me a year and a half ago. I'm kinda wondering why I'm losing so much weight. It's not a bad thing, it's just weird. But, oh well. You can never be to skinny, or to rich. Hahahaha.

Anyways, since I'm "grounded" for 2 more weeks, I'm gonna be updating this thang probably everyday. Except for this weekend, as I will be out of town.

Joe did call yesterday, as I knew he would. He called at like, 1 am though. he has a thing about call at really really late and really really early hours of the day. Does he seriously think I'm gonna be awake at 7:30 am? But, oh well. It's the thought that counts, and I'm so happy to hear from him everyday, its a reminder of how much he cares about me.

I have court tomorrow. At 8:30. Joy.

I guess it's just like, my sentencing, or whatever.

My parents are going to the Dave Matthews Band concert, so, I'm considering going out tonight.

Diego is coming down form Ortenville, and he might come over and watch "O Brother Where Art thou?"
Light it up

Hmm, fairly normal day, sorta [01 Jul 2003|04:16pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Well, today I continued my never ending search for a second job. I really hate filling out those applications, they're so tedious. But, oh well. It's worth it for.

Anyways, I had consoling today, cause I ran away from home last week. I mean, I didn't think four days was THAT big of a deal, but my mom thought it was. I've got the bruises to prove it, really.

No call from Joe yet today. No letter either. Jail mail apparently takes a long ass time to get sent. But hopefully today he got the pictures I sent him. I miss him so much.

It's crazy, cause I don't really like saying 'I love him', actually, I don't saying love to him at all. It's weird bringing love into a relationship. When you say you love someone.... like, when I say I love Bill; I do love him, I love him so much, but, like brother sister love, you know? When you say you love someone, generally you not saying 'I'm in love with you'. But when you say it to someone your with, it could be interrepted that way.
I don't wanna scare him off, or lead him on, cause I don' know what I'm feeling for Joe. I like him SO much. I've never liked anyone as much as I liked Joe.

I sill don't know if I'm in with love him. I love him so much, but, I don't think I know what it is to BE in love. It's confusing.

All I know is, I day he gets out, I'm gonna fuck that kid so hard, he's not gonna know what hit'em.

I can't wait 'til he calls.

5Puffs| Light it up

Blah blah blah blah [30 Jun 2003|07:37pm]
[ mood | good ]

Um, I got up at 11:30ish, when Mel called and woke me up. That stupid bitch got out of a $110 speeding ticket. Good thing she decided to take it to court.

Joe called this morning at 8:01. I wasn't a wake, so I didn't get to talk to him. He'll call back later though.

Me and Bill got in a fight last night. It seems like everytime we talk online, we fight. He made up some bullshit about Melissa and Melanie talking shit about me behind my back, and it pissed me off. So I bitched and he bitched and I think we decided not to be friends anymore, which always happens, cause we are both stubborn motherfuckers.

I know he's got good intentions, cause he was bulldhiting about this thing, a problem I apperently have. One that he had previously. Hahah, nobody knows what I'm talking about.

But, anyways, yeah, so he's all pissed cause he told me a milloin billion times NEVER EVER to do what he did, and I never thought I would, but them I did, and I liked it, so I kept doing it.

That was a really long sentence.

Anyways, so, he wants me to stop, so he bullshited so I would think my frineds hate me because of it, and hopefully I'd stop. Even though, they do it too, so I don't know what he was thinking. Thats what you get for dropping outta high school kids.

But, I'm sure that within a few days one of us will call the other and makeup and shoot the shit, like always.

He's a sweetie, right? But he's also a dumbshit.

Light it up

For Joe- [30 Jun 2003|12:40pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Laying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I Don't wanna close my eyes
I Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

Joe, baby, I know you'll never ever see this, but I just want everybody to know how much I miss you.

I love you so much.

4Puffs| Light it up

More info than you wanted to know. (you were warned) [29 Jun 2003|11:12pm]
[ mood | content ]

Name: Alison
Age: 16
Height: 5'3"
Ethnic Backround: Unknown
Hair: The ends are kinda arburn, then the middle is lightish brown, then my roots are dark brown, cause my natural color hair is growing in.
Complexion: Soft and smooth, no pimples or blemishs at all, I have really great skin (thank God). Kinda pale.
Glasses/Contacts? Nope
Zodiac: Virgo
Location: Troy, MI
Occupation: I was a bagger, but I got fired. Now I'm gonna work at a mexican carry-out place on Maple.
Residence: Um, a house (?)
Personality: Um, I dunno how to describe my personality, I mean, if your reading this, you probably know me, what do you think?
Shaven/Beard/Mustache? Nah, I'm a chick
Siblings: Two younger brothers
Rank: Oldest
Night Owl/Early Bird? Night Owl
Pets: Golden Retriever named Cody
Kids: Yes, I'm a mother of 4. Please... I'm 16, and anytime I do it, I use a condom.
Number of times engaged/married: Zero


Color: Blue
Meal: Tacos
Sandwich: Turkey with american and mustard, or PB&J
Soup: Does Ramen noodles count?
Meat: Turkey
Recipe: I dunno, ask Joe, he's the chef
Book: The Hot Zone
Movie: Black Hawk Down, Fight Club
Magazine: Time
Newspaper: I dunno
Section of Newspaper: Entertainment
Comic Strip: None
Cartoon: South Park, Daria, Spongebob
Cartoon Character: Cartman, Daria, Spongebob
Candy: Baby Bottle Pops (cherry flavored)
Snack: Ramen, cheese and crackers
Season: Summer
City: Detroit, cause you can get and drug you want, and its convenitly located 20 mins away from Troy
Ice Cream Flavor: Mint chocolate chip
Ice Cream Topping: Hot fudge or Carmel
Soda: Dr. pepper
Drink: Smirnoff Ice, Pina Colada
Animal: Dog
Music: Rap
Music Group: Linkin Park
Song: Sing for the Moment- Eminem, Superman- Eminem, Numb-Linkin Park, In the End-Linkin Park, Wake Me Up-Evanescence, I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing-Aerosmith, Rock With You- Ashanti
Singer: Eminem
Genre: Whatever
Game: Chess, lol
Subject: Lit
Color Ink: Pink
Holiday: Christmas
TV Show: South Park, Simpsons
Perfume/Colonge: Candies, Moves, Tommy Girl, Lucky You, Curve, My Ocean, Ectasy
Fruit: Rasberrys, strawberrys
Vegetable: Chick Peas
Flower: Roses
Plant: Marijuana
Store: Target, Marshall Fields
Outfit: Levi's low riders, cute tank top, sneakers, terry cloth jacket
Poet: Slyvia Plath
Author: Richard Preston


Hobbies: Getting fucked up, driving around, picking up guys
Idea of a Romantic Date: Um, Dinner then sex?
Mama's Boy/Daddy's Girl? Neither, fuck my parents
Want Children in the Future? In the WAY distant future
Quirks: I'm really funny, I can make anyone laugh. And I can offend anyone, as well.
Crayons/Markers/Chalk/Pencil/Ink/Charcoal/Paint? Ink
Socks/Barefoot/Slippers? Socks
Prefer to Have True Love or Good Luck? Well, thats tough. Bad luck may have cost me my true love a couple years ago. And I think I'm on to something with this guy Joe, so I'm gonna go with Good luck.
Favor Chocolate? Um, dark chocolate
Favor Peanut Butter? Not really
Favor Whipped Cream? Only on certain things, get my drift?
Religion: Not really sure, some branch of christanity
Prefer Thunderstorm/Blizzard/Flash Flood/Tornado/Hurricane? Thunderstroms, I LOVE lightning!
Prefer to See a Woman with Her Hair Up or Down? Eww, I don't give a fuck. But, I guess it depends on the persons face same and shit like that
Prefer to See a Man with Long or Short Hair? Again, it depends on their face shape and shit.
Notices First on a Man/Woman: Eyes
Best Feeling in The World: Um, an orgasm. Or the feeling you get when you smoke crack, or being in love.


Postition: SO far I've only tried two diffrent ones, so I guess it would be missionary.
Part(s) of Intimate Moments: Um, what? Whats my favorite part of sex? Well, the orgasm.
Part(s) of Female/Male Anatomy: I like guys chests and arms, like, I like being held and shit.
Turn-On(s): Wife beaters, decent bodys, Axe body spray shit, being felt up, having my neck kissed, being fingered
Turn-Off(s): Bad smells, complications; getting it up, getting it in, ect.
Fantasy: Oh, um, I dunno if I should go into that, hahahehehe ehh.
Craziest/Wildest Place: Like, that I've done it? I think that the 12th deck of the cruise ship with Dan as it was docking in Pueto Rico was the craziest.
Age Lost *V*: 15
Favor Electronics? No
Favor Quickies/Slow & Passionate? Slow and Passionate, deffinitly. I mean, me and Jake fucked for like, 5 mintues and I didn't even have and orgasm. Now, me and Dan went at it for half and hour, and I had a pretty decent orgasm.
Boxers/Briefs/Commando? Boxers
Boxers/Panties/Thong/Commando? I always were a thong. I don't even own any thing else. Well, besides my see-through lacy black pantie thing. But, anyways, I actually went commando once, it was really comfortable, but, its just impractical. I mean, I'll do it for specail occasions, but not always.
Cut/Uncut? Me? Or the guy? Personally, I don't expect the guy to, um, trim down there. But chicks are a diffrent story. Lets just say I'm cut.
Piercings: Both ears and a cartilage.
Weak Points: Um, hahahha, guess.
Measurments (any you want to share *wink*): Chest: 34", Waist: 28", Hips: 35"

10Puffs| Light it up

monthly bullshit update; Now with quizzes! [29 Jun 2003|01:10pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

Well, I supose it's kinda true. I mean, I AM and underage drug addict/schoolgirl. My mom is SO proud.

What Pattern Are You?

Hear that? I'm GROOVY! Sweet!

Which John Cusack Are You?

Haha, that movie is really funny, but, too bad I'm not a hitman... yet.

You represent... playfulness.
You represent... playfulness.
Playfulness can often be mistaken for sluttiness or
flirtiness... Flirting is something you enjoy
doing, but you're mostly just about having fun.
You're into partying, and it's seems that
people enjoy your company as much as you enjoy

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
Actually, that picture sorta looks like me. Haha

Sensual Seductress
You have mastered the fine art of seduction without
being overly aggressive. You realize that being
seductive is more about sensuality than
sexuality and when you work your talents, you
put all the other girls to shame.

How Seductive Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Fuck yeah. Seriously though, it's not like its THAT hard for chicks to get play. Well, the chicks I hang with, myself included. But, maybe it's just cause we're sexy, really really sexy.

I am 27% Punk Rock

Well, I may know what punk is, but... Okay maybe some people think I am punk, but is that enough? Nope.

Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com
Eww, yeah right. As if I'm even 27% punk rock. Bullshit, there shoulda been a hip-hop test or something.

I am 8% Geek

I wanna be a geek. But I'm not. Why would I even want to be one. Do I think it's fun? I should try writting an online test application at 1 am in my underwear

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com
Yeah, I'll admit, 8% sounds about right. Everyone's a little geeky, huh?

I am 8% Goth

I wanna be a GOTH. But I'm not. Smoking cloves and too much eyeliner a goth does not make. I'll go home and take your Cure CD's with me.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com
But, eww, I'm deffinitly NOT 8% GOTH! Sick.

I am 17% Internet Addict

I am amazed that I even found this test. This is my first time online, isn't it great, I figured out this AOL-thing! But I don't quite know how to turn the computer off.

Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com
Hahaha, yeah. I haven't checked my E-mail in like, 4 months. I mean, I just don't have much time to waste on that bullshit. I HAVE a life. Oh, and my friends care enough to call me and actually TALK to me, not just type out some shit and click 'SEND'. PLus a lot of them don't HAVE the internet.

I am 27% Ska

I know the scene, I've heard the bands, and I am burned out. Well, these things happen. I will now go ahead and go through the same thing with Punk and Emo.

Take the Ska Test at fuali.com
Mmmmm, whatever.

I am 30% Grunge

What's this? The longest I've been without a shower is three days? Not even close, man. I should go sit out in the rain for a week.

Take the Grunge Test at fuali.com
It's just cause I do lots of drugs and don't give a shit about anything.

I am 46% Evil Genius

I want to be evil. I do evil things. But given the opportunity, and a darn good reason I may turn to the good side. Besides I am probably a miserable evil genius.

Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com
Yeah, I am kinda evil, but only to the people I hate.

Um, I ran away from home for 4 days. Did a lot for shit. Came home and got grounded for a month.

The guy I like, Joe, is in jail. We really like each other. He WAS gonna ask me out, but now we have to wait til september, which really really sucks. But he calls me everyday and we write each other letters and shit.

Last night I took a bunch of pictures (not those kind) of myself for him. It kinda disturbs me to know that a bunch of inmate are gonna be getting off to a picture of me straddeling a chair, but I wont be able to be with Joe til septemebr 16 so it's all good. As long as HE'S happy. Besides, maybe the others wont get their hands on 'em. Hehehe, Hmm.
11Puffs| Light it up

Yet another survey, cause I have nothing to do at 1 am [12 Jun 2003|12:47am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

:Name: Alison
:Backwards: Nosila
:Does your name mean anything?: Please, like I'm gonna waste my time looking up what my name means. Yeah, hi, I HAVE a life, thanks.
:Current location: Troy, Michigan
:Religion: Christian
:Shoe size: 6- 7.5 (depends on the brand)
:Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous?: Righty
:How old are you mentally?: 16
:Describe yourself in 5 words: Cute, Hyper, Bitchy, Smart, Funny
:What are your worst qualities: Yeah, I'll admit, I am kinda a bitch.
:What are your best qualities: I have a good heart.

Do You Have...
:Any pets: A dog
:A disease: Nope (thank God)
:A pager: I have a cell phone
:A personal phone number: Yup
:A leather jacket with studs on it?: Nope
:A heroin needle: Nope
:A pool or hot tub: Yes, I have both
:A Car: I'll have it by the end of the month

Describe Your...
:Personality: I'm outgoing, open minded, funky, straight forward, honest, fun, smart.
:Driving: Pretty good
:Car or one you want: I'm either gett'n a Jeep Liberty, a Trail Blazer or an Escape. Either way it'll have leather interior, power locks and windows, cd player, sub wolfers, and a radar detector.
:Room: It's really big, painted sky blue, my beds in the corner, I have a stereo, big ass TV, DVD player, and a nice ass bathroom.
:School: It's catholic, but other then that, it's a pretty decent school.
:Relationship with your parent(s): I say good morning to them when I wake up and good night to them went I go to sleep.

Do You...
:Believe in yourself?: Fuck yeah, I KNOW I'm the shit, and I know I can get/do whatever I want to if I try.
:Believe in love at first sight?: I dunno
:Consider yourself a good listener: Yes
:Consider yourself a good friend: Yes
:Save your e-mail or conversations: Ok, I'm NOT a loser and I don't go online and talk to stupid little people like a faggot, cause, I have better things to do.
:Pray: Sometimes
:Like to make fun of people: Shit yeah, I could make someone cry in a second, but I'm not mean like that
:Like to talk on the phone: Yes
:Get motion sickness: If I read in the car, I start to feel kinda sick.
:Eat chicken fingers with a fork: Eww, I don't even EAT chicken fingers. I don't wanna be an ugly fat ass again.
:Dream in color: I think so

What Was/Is (or Are)...
:Right next to you: My dog
:On your mouse pad: Lightning striking a tree
:Your dream honeymoon spot: Euroupe
:Your dream husband/wife: A rich, passive, hot guy who's totally in love with me
:Your bedtime: Fuck that shit, I sleep when I'm tired
:Under your bed: Shit, I don't even wanna look
:The single most important question: Whens my hit?
:Your bad time of the day: As far as looks go, Morning, deffinitly. But, everyone looks like shit in the morning
:Your worst fear(s): Abandonment
:The time?: 1:11 am
:The date?: June 12, 2003
:The best trick you ever played on someone?: I don't remember
:The weirdest food or drink that you like?: I like Lay's Classic potato chips with mustard, actually, I like mustard on a lot of shit.
:The hardest thing about growing up?: Growning up.
:The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?: Used to be nudity, but now, I ain't gotta do shit to get attention from guys
:Craziest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s)?: Something crazy happens to us everytime we're together
:The worst feeling in the world?: Being lonly
:The best feeling in the world?: Umm, I'm gonna go for an orgasm, but that feeling you get when you wake up and look at the clock, only to discover you still have time left to sleep, thats a great feeling too.

:Number: 69
:Color: Blue
:Day: Friday
:Month: June
:Season: Summer
:Class: Lit
:Teacher: Ms. Welicko
:Veggie: Chick peas
:Animal: Doggys
:Flower: Rose
:State: I dunno

Love + Relationships...
:Do you have a bf/gf?: Not really
:Do you have a crush?: Sorta
:How long have you liked him/her?: couple weeks
:Why do you like this person?: Cause he's cool as hell, and he likes me too
:If you're not single... give details...: N/A
:Who was your first love?: Johnny Milden
:What do you miss about them?: I miss EVERYTHING about him

The Past...
:Last thing you heard: ...That I'm a motherfuckin P.I.M.P.
:Last thing you saw: The computer screen
:Last thing you said: Fuck
:Who is the last person you saw?: My mom
:Who is the last person you kissed?: Dan
:Who is the last person you hugged?: Melanie
:Who is the last person you fought with?: My mom
:Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: Dan
:What is the last TV show you saw?: South Park

The Present...
:What are you wearing?: Faded hip huggers and a white wife beater
:What are you doing?: Filling out the thingie
:Who are you talking to?: No one
:What song are you listening to? Get Busy- Sean Paul
:Where are you?: My house
:Who are you with?: My dog
:How are you feeling?: A little sleepy
:Are you in a chatroom?: Fuck no

The Future...
:What day is it tomorrow?: Friday
:What are you going to do after this?: Probably smoke a cig, then go to sleep
:Who are you going to talk to?: Nobody
:Where are you going to go?: My room
:How old will you be when you graduate?: 18
:Where will you be in 25 years?: Fuck if I know

Have You Ever...
:Drank?: Yes
:Smoked?: Yes
:Had sex?: Yes
:Stole?: Yes
:Done anything illegal?: Yes

:Do you write in cursive or print?: A cross between the two
:What piercings do you have?: My ears and my cartilage. I'll have my Belly Button done soon though

:What do you most like about your body?: My face and my legs
:And least?: My ass (or lack there of)
:How many fillings do you have?: I dunno
:Do you look like any celebrities?: Someone said I look like Jewel, and someone else said I look like Mandy Moore, but I don't think either of those are true

:Do you wear a watch?: nope
:How many coats and jackets do you own?: 3
:Favorite pants/skirt color?: Blue
:Most expensive item of clothing?: Probably my uniform skirt
:Most treasured?: My Pumas
:What kind of shoes do you wear?: Pumas and Skechers
:Describe your style in one word: Unique
:How long does it take you get ready in the mornings: 10 minutes

Light it up

41 ways to melt a womans heart [09 Jun 2003|11:44am]
1. Ask her to dance.
2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.
3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk toward her as soon as you see her.
4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.
5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.
6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.
7. Call her when you’re feeling sad.
8. Kiss her eyelids.
9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.
10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.
11. If she’s crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.
12. Stand her naked on a sturdy chair and lick between her legs.
13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.
14. Buy her your favorite rock album of all time on vinyl.
15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.
16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.
17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.
18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.
19. When she’s feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.
20. Call her just before you get on the plane.
21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.
22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she’s feeling down.
23. Take her to see your favorite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.
24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.
25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice.
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.
27. Worship her breasts.
28. Give her jewelry.
29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)
30. Ask her specific questions about her work.
31. Keep her favorite cereal on hand.
32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.
33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.
34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.
35. Moan her name when she goes down on you.
36. Read her a story when it’s her turn to drive during a long road trip.
37. Offer to fix something in her apartment that you realize is broken.
38. Notice when she’s wearing something new.
39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.
40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.
41. If she’s too stressed to want sex . . .
a. Draw a bath for her.
b. Give her a full-body massage.
c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.

I just saw this, and I have to say, it's most accurate list of its kind I've seen.

Guys, hopfully some of you will see this, everything on that list is true. If you do those things, your SURE to get pussy from your girlfriend, no matter what, it's a gurantee. Cause, believe me; us girls, we pick up on the small shit like that. Truthfully, it's the small shit that matters.

I mean, I'm a girl, with a reasonable amount of experiance with boys, right? And guys, I can say this to you; Your girlfriend MUST be the ABSOLUTE most important thing to you. If she isn't and she figures it out (and she will), you ain't gettin noth'n. It's the truth, for every girl on the surface of this world, even the dykes.

Cause really, all that girls want is to be the center of SOMEBODY'S world. Generally, the boyfriend's world. So, guys, if you don't drop all your shit when she calls, your not getting pussy. Your on Pussy Probation.

It might seem weird for me to just randomally say all this shit, but a situation that involves my bestfriend and her "boyfriend" is occuring as I type. It's really hard to explain, so, I wont.

But, seriously, guys, heed my advice. It's good advice. Most girls aren't gonna come clean and say this shit straight up to you, but, I did, so consider yourselfs lucky.
Light it up

Schools out for summer! (YES!) [08 Jun 2003|11:12pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Friday was my last day, which is very good. But for some reason, I just can't seem to believe I don't have to go to school for another 3 months. It seems like its to good to be true. But it IS true!

Mel's last day is friday, and she has exams this week, so I wont be going out with her at all his week. But there's still Melanie and Joe. Which is just fine.

Aww, Joe. I wish he'd cut the bullshit and ask me out.

The other day me and him were sitting there, and we were talking about something and I don't even remember what led up to it, but he goes; "I like you, and I know you like me, but we can't go out right now. If we went out, I'd want to take you to diner and shopping, and I can't do that if I don't have a car". I was like 'Whoa'. Then he started talking about how he wants to get his apartment first then concentrate on the car. Then I think Melanie came in and said something, and the subject changed.

I was so fucked up that day, and it took me a little while to realize I didn't really properly reply to what he said. When I told Melanie what he said, she was like "Yeah, he treats his girlfriends really good".

I think Me and Melanie are gonna hang out wit him tomorrow after work. If I see him, I'm gonna tell him that all that bullshit doesn't matter to me, I don't give a fuck if he doesn't have a car. See, I DO like him, but it's not really fair to just leave me hanging until he gets a car, I mean, it's not like we CAN'T go out unless he has one. It's a plus, but it really doesn't matter that much.

Light it up

Stuff [02 May 2003|04:20pm]
[ mood | excited ]

1 MINUTE AGO: I was sitting here, like I am now
1 DAY AGO: I was stoned
1 WEEK AGO: I was in St. Martin
1 YEAR AGO: I had no friends
I HURT: Because Dan isn't here with me
I HATE: My parents, Scott, the Terraces.
I FEAR: I'll never see Dan again
I HOPE: He comes to visit me this summer
I FEEL: Happy
I LISTEN: The music (?)
I HIDE: Nothing
I DRIVE: Nothing
I PLAY: Games 0_-
I KNOW: A lot
I WAIT: Til summer, so I can see Dan, and not have school.
I NEED: Some Marijuana
I THINK: About Dan
Current Clothes: Light blue sleevless with a baseball emblem
Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Breathe me to life- Evanescence
Current Taste: Menthol
Current Hair: Pulled back and clipped up, it's messy too.
Current Annoyance: My mother
Current Smell: Nothing
Current thing I should be doing: Getting ready for tonight
Current Desktop Picture: plam trees (it's a family computer, I'm not some weirdo fag)
Current Favorite bands/singers: Eminem and Linkin Park
Current Book: Lord of the Flies (for school)
Current Movie In VCR/DVD player: I lost all my DVDs ;_;
Current Refreshment: Faygo Red pop
Current Worry: Court
Current Crush: Dan (I miss you so much)

I'm seeing Bill tonight, but the problem is, I don't really want to. I feel like our friendship is dissolving, and the worst part is, I'm kinda glad.

It used to be that I was the one annoying him, calling him, blah blah blah, but now it's the other way. I know he loves me and he really cares about me, but, I just don't care. I've lost interest in his friendship.

It's because he's changed so much. It's hard for me to talk to him, it's really hard to keep a conversation going. We just don't have anything in common. And, I mean, the person he used to be may have been a bad one, but it was the way everyone had always known him, and loved him. He was more fun to be with then. Now hes the total opposite of that and how are you supposed to still love someone when they've changed so much? He's not the same Bill he was 6 months ago.

I feel bad because I'm kinda giving up on our friendship when it's at its best.

Now I have to waste my night with him when I could be out having fun, you know?

Light it up

Ohh, what to say, what to do [08 Apr 2003|11:12am]
[ mood | happy ]

Life is confusing, Or at least my life is, or my mind is just dead.

I dunno, it's like 75% of the time I'm a super happy, bouncy, hyper, cutie. People like me when I'm like that, guys are attracted to me when I'm like that, which makes me more happy and the circle starts over again. It really is a great system, I love feeling like every is great, I LOVE being happy.

But I can't denie or hide the fact that there's still a lot of shit wrong with my life, or me. So that other 25% of my life is spent in a cycle of self hate, self pity, bitchness, teenage angst, and all that jazz. No one likes to be around me then, cause I'm bitch. And then I get pissed at my self and do the "God, whats wrong with me? Why am I so fucking stupid/ugly/annoying/loud/whatever I'm pissed over. The cycle goes on.

But usually something happens that makes me super happy, and thats why I only feel like shit 25% of the time, and I can spend the rest of my time happy and fun and everything is just peachy!

Confusing, eh?

Light it up

Somewhere I belong [23 Mar 2003|11:41am]
When this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
Erase all the pain till it’s gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
Erase all the pain till it’s gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
Erase all the pain till it’s gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

And I thought my life was going good. Whats it called when you question your friends loyalty and are scared to tell them shit cause you don't trust them? Come'on, I know theres a word for it.... Pathedic, yeah, thats it.

It's a long story, one that I don't really feel like getting into, but, lets just say, I've already dropped one "Friend", and the other two may be following. I'm not really sure, but I have a lot of doubts about our "friendships", a lot more doubts than I have about my my feeling and ideas. I.e., I don't trust then and I think I have good reason not to.
Light it up

7 deadly surveys [18 Mar 2003|05:37pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

1. Who did you last get angry with? Melanie
2. What is your weapon of choice? A gun(?)
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Fuck yeah, I HAVE
4. How about of the same sex? Or course, girls are bitches.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry with you? I have no idea, it's most likly my mom.
6. What is your pet peeve? When people pronounce words wrong, I know its gay, but I can't stand it.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? It depends on two things; Who the person is, and what they did to me.

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Check my E-mail, it's been like, 7 weeks since I last checked it, lol.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 5pm ish, I think
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: Abi Mitchell, lol, I havn't talked to her in FOREVER
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? My cell's battery is dead.... Yeah, and Heather doesn't have a house phone
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? Shit no.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? Everyday, gym class yay!
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I have to have someone wake me up, cause I always end up unplugging the fucking clock.

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Excuse me? Fuuuck THAT, I ain't spened my money on no god damned coffee when I can get a can of Dr. Pepper form my fridge.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? Vegetarians: Vegan or no? White meat, and only like birds and fish and shit, no mammals.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Jesus, enough for me not to remember how much it was.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nope
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Yeah, I still wanna lose 10 or 15 lbs, but I'm lookin pretty good now.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Sweets and saltys
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? Nope

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family/locker room)? Like full frontal? I'm not sure.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family/locker room)? Oh my god, UNCOUNTABLE numbers of people have seen my boobs, only a handful guys have seen the rest tough
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? God no, I don't need to restort to pussy, I can get guys.
4. Have you "done it"? Yup
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Eyes
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Nope
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? Nope

1. How many credit cards do you own? None
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? Target
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Buy shit I don't need, and drugs, lots and lots of drugs
4. Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich, but I RATHER be rich AND famous
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Probably, if it was easy
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Me? Are you kidding?
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? Thousands

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? I'm proud of the weight I lost
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? My parents hate me, I could cure AIDS and they still wouldn't be proud.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? I wanna direct a movie
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Only if it's because of the ignorance of my team mates (i.e. some one throws the ball though the wrong basket or something.)
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Umm, I have no skill, so, no.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Why else would you cheat on something? But, yes I have.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? I kicked ass playing basketball in gym today.

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Truthfully, I'm jealous of Melissa and Melanie, cause they both got guys and I don't.... but I would NEVER want their guys, thats hoed.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? I don't know what that is.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? I dunno, I like myself a lot, um, so, I dunno.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Sortam not really though.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Yeah, I wish I was skinnier, I wish I had blue or green eyes and I wish I had lighter hair.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Outgoingness
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? No
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Lust, greed and wrath.

Light it up

53 answers [06 Mar 2003|10:00pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Ten Things I miss...
1] Bill
2] Johnny
3] Summer
4] Sleeping in
5] Oxford/Lake Orion
6] Melissa's truck
7] Wearing Jeans to school
8] Being in love
9] My lungs
10] Working at Hollywood

Nine Things I hate...
1] Not have cigarettes
2] Straight Edge motherfuckers
3] Police
4] My period
5] School
6] Getting caught
7] Court
8] My parents
9] Airplanes/ Airports

Eight People I love...
1] Melissa
2] Melanie
3] Bill
4] Johnny
5] Janice
6] Nathan
7] Logan
8] Brennan

Seven things I remember the most...
1] The first time I met Johnny
2] The first time I got stoned (I remember it like it was yesterday, but I barely remember the real yesterday!)
3] The night I lost my virginity
4] September 11th 2002 (Laptop day)
5] The first time I got drunk
6] March 18th and 20th 2000 (The day he died, and the day I found out)
7] The first time I tried coke (9-14-02, my 16th birthday)

Six things I want to do eventually...
1] Be really rich and really famous and come back in rub it in everyone who was mean to me's face
2] Own a restaurant, night club, hotel, casino, record store and a boutique
3] Write a book
4] Make a movie
5] Have a really serious boyfriend
6] Smoke down with Eminem

Five songs I can hear over and over...
1] Sing for the Moment- Eminem
2] The Bad Touch- BloodHound Gang
3] In Da Club- 50 Cent
4] In the End- Linkin Park
5] Superman- Eminem

Four Words that describe me...
1] Pothead
2] A little Ditsy (Yeah, I've come to accept the fact that sometimes I'm a fucking retard)
3] Cute
4] Happy

Three things I want to change...
1] I wanna lose 10 more pounds, maybe 15 or 20, I'll have to see how I look after 10.
2] I wanna get my cartilage and my belly button pieced, and my ears double pierced again
3] My hair needs to be cut and colored

Two people I want to disappear...
1] Scott
2] Mr. Avison (My math teacher)

One thing I want...
1] A drivers license and a car

2Puffs| Light it up

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